It’s not enough that the world of mentalism is so much smaller than that of magic. No, some of those who are ostensibly in the higher echelons of its practitioners — to hear them describe themselves, anyway — are of smaller minds, too.

I’ve already mentioned the upcoming, highly anticipated set of DVDs by Richard Osterlind. “Easy to Master Mental Miracles” — which you can pre-order here — has managed to cause fits of purple apoplexy in the secret dins of the Super-Secret Raccoon Hat Fraternity of the World’s Self-Appointed Greatest Mentalists Organization of Dentists, Doctors, Lawyers, and At Least One Several-Times-Arrested-But-Subsequently-Acquitted Assaulter. (Numerous duffers, too, but they won’t admit it.)

In a word, these poor darlings are just not happy.

Richard Osterlind, himself, has finally had enough of answering the same — as he calls it — red herring questions over and over again presented by members of these Raccoon Hatters. (In this thread on The Magic Cafe you can read the latest sad stanzas, along with Richard’s coda.)

At the heart of this tempest in a teapot is the fact that some, not all, members of certain psychic entertainers organizations — some who claim boldly, “Protecting our Trade Secrets is our TOP PRIORITY” and then proceed to name their web site domains things like www.nailwriter.com — are in a huff. It seems that now that they’ve acquired the cherished secrets of mentalism, they are the Special Ones and should guard their secrets from the Great Unwashed Ones who wish to enter by the gate. (Or something equally idiotic.)

This might be mildly amusing were it not true. Instead, it is very true and, therefore, hilarious.

Given that these folks lay claim to being the Insidest of the Inner Circle of Head Mucky-Mucks in Mentalism, it should make you realize how valuable are these new Osterlind DVDs and why you should obtain them yourself. Yes, apparently, they are that good.

Since the topic of this post is juvenile behavior, it seems only fitting that I provide a quote from a juvenile book. Ted Geisel is the perfect author of the perfect book for this admittedly imperfect post. As the beloved Dr. Seuss, he wrote, among many, the classic “The Sneeches and Other Stories.”

Now, the Star-Belly Sneetches
Had bellies with stars.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches
Had none upon thars.

Those stars weren’t so big. They were really so small
You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.

But because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.”
With their snoots in the air they would sniff and they’d snort
“We’ll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!”
And whenever they met some when they were out walking
They’d hike right on past them without even talking.

Those of you familiar with the story know one classic line is, “No. You can’t teach a Sneech.”

That Dr. Seuss. What a mindreader he turned out to be.