Twinkies, the epitome of junk food, may be on its deathbed.

At least that’s the possibility suggested Dr. W.C. Douglass upon word that Interstate Bakery filed for protection under Chapter 11 Bankruptcy laws. (Interstate Bakery is the nation’s largest wholesale bakery.) Interstate blames it’s money woes mainly on the Atkin’s Diet craze, while analysts suggest it may be rooted in the fact that they haven’t poked their strategy-head out of the ground since the 50s.

At any rate, Dr. Douglass is shedding no tears over the potential loss. He’s not a fan of Twinkies, which regard is evident in his rendering of some of the 28 ingredients found in the pop-culture icon of snackfood:

Enriched wheat flour (flour that’s been bleached, starched and de-nutritionized)
Sugar (self-explanatory)
Corn syrup (more sugar)
High-fructose corn syrup (more sugar yet)
Partially hydrogenated soybean, cottonseed, or canola oil (trans-fats)
Dextrose (even more sugar)
Modified cornstarch (glucose polymers – more simple sugars)
Cornstarch (Yay! More sugar!)
Corn flour (refined to worthlessness, of course)
Corn syrup solids (you guessed it – another type of sugar)
Dextrin (a starch/sugar hybrid)

Wow, that’s 8 different kinds of sugar, three kinds of starch, and a dollop of killer trans-fats. Yum! The other 17 ingredients are largely preservatives and colorings. I could only find four ingredients on the whole list that were at least somewhat good for you: Eggs, whey, salt and water.

That’s from today’s episode of Dr. Douglass’s Daily Dose, to which I recommend you subscribe.

So, is it reasonable to for a person to be joyful in the possibility of the demise of a business concern? Oh, I think so. Have you ever participated in a boycott of a product or company?

That leads me to these notions:

“Death to knockoffs.”

“Death to companies that produce knockoffs.”

“Death to companies that sell knockoffs produced by companies that make knockoffs.”

That’s a pretty clear position. But death to company owners themselves? What kind of whack-job suggests such a thing?

Well, in an email list for IBM Ring 2100, I stated my opinion that we should not support manufacturers who are proven to knock off magic products. Specifically, the subject was “purchasing ‘legitimate’ products while shunning the knockoffs.”

Bruce Purdy responded to my statement. In part, here is what he stated in response:

I suppose you wouldn’t be happy until he was put out of business completely – and even then you would harbour a grudge always thinking of him as a “Thief”. Perhaps you’d never be satisfied until he was dead.

To be fair, after I told him directly that what he wrote about me was not only offensive, but absurd (stronger language, while intended, is not generally allowed in the email list), he back-peddled:

I do not mean to say that you literally wish him dead – only that you seem to be on a vendetta and these things don’t just end. You are not just dead set against his disreputable practices, but his honest enterprises as well.

I think vendetta is a too strong, inappropriate word to use in this case. I am having no feud with anyone. I have an opinion on this matter and I am simply stating for the record that I hold the intellectual property rights of magic creators in higher regard than the business health of those who disregard those rights as inconvenient to the point of dismissing them completely, as though they were waving away a mildly annoying gnat flying around.

I support the right to free association, which is the guaranteed freedom that allows for consumer boycotts of products.

As for the last part — that I am dead set against his “honest enterprises as well” — he’s right about that. I am dead set against rewarding the “good behavior” in some vein hope that the knock off manufacturer will, somehow, realize the error of his ways and go on the straight and narrow path.

Get a grip on reality. Please.

In the world of commerce, the reason knock off manufacturers knock off products is because they can sell desireable products without the pesky and profit-eating encumberance of research, development, and any of the other ancillary costs involved in bringing an original idea to market.

It’s profit driven, so, in my opinion, it’s misguided to the point of absurdity to think that “good doggie” pats on the head will be more persuasive than pinching the pocketbook by simply not purchasing any merchandise made by a company that knocks off products.

Take a look around you and see how many examples of successful appeasements you find. No, really, go ahead and look. When you get tired of looking, I’ll be here waiting with the rest of this essay.

This discussion broke out as a result of someone posting a link to a web site which, in part, compares “Watch and Wear” and “3 Dominoes Monte” to products offered by Magic Makers. (A more comprehensive list of magic products compared to versions offered by Magic Makers is here on Tim Ellis’s “Magic Fakers“ page.)

Here’s something to think about: if you are part of the world of magic, these issues affect you. Once you become aware of what’s going on you are no longer an innocent bystander; you are either part of the problem or you are part of the solution.

So, now that you’ve come this far, what side are you on?